11/8/2010
Today she lost her cellphone, then she wants to cut the service of the phone, yet the number is registered under her friend's boyfriend, and her friends also just broke up with that guy and didn't contact each other already. So it makes it hard to retrieve back her sim card, as she decide to cut the service her friend ask her to cut the service of my number also since we are all register under his name, so she don't need to contact that guy anymore and stuffs, but I want to remain my number but it's impossible the change my number back to prepaid without that guy's help. Then she keep ask me to cut the number, then I just say loudly I just wants to remain my number can't you understand??After that she cried, says that I never scolded her before, I have changed thingys. Well I admit I have changed that's why I want to break with her, I don't want her to see me like this, out of control, this thing will happen again if we continue the relationship. Night we went out we few friends, about 11pm I decided to go back to my hostel and pack my stuffs to back to Melaka the next morning. She was tired so she says she wants to follow me to my place and have a nap while the others are having their dinner at the mamak stall nearby. After we went up, she suddenly hold my hand and ask me what are our current relationship?I told her best friend. After awhile tears start roll down and I don't know what to do. Then she sort of begged me to get back to her, I keep refuse due to what happened this afternoon and some other stuffs. After a moment the others came back and bought me some food, they knocked the door and she doesn't allow me to open the door. So I wait her cool down for a moment only went to open the door but they went into their rooms already. Then until 12 something she is still crying to get back together she said if I don't promise her she don't want to go back to her hostel. Then I just don't care and asked her friend to fetch her back, she keep asked me how is she going to live without me. In my heart I was saying this is crap, nobody needs a person to continue their life, without sun, earth will still be spinning. Then she goes back.
12/8/2010
Today from the morning till afternoon she is still on the same topic. I am tired of repeating myself everytime she ask again and again and again and again, I make myself clear and told her that this is the last time I am saying we can't get back together already. So, stop fucking asking me! Then she said to me she feels like dying. She wants to die stuffs. This makes me more and more annoyed. I keep saying that I can't love you as much as last time already and keep her stop thinking bout death can solve everything. Then she just gave me a reply, "This is the last time you are going to talk to me on this world." After awhile she didn't reply she off-ed her phone and I can't contact her anyway so I continue to talk with my friend who just came to my house, in the evening she messaged me and said she ate panadols already, soon going to fall asleep, ask me to tell her I love her before she gets asleep, I panicked and keep on comfort her that there is no need to die. She keep force my to promise her I will get back with her in order to make her make herself vomit the panadols she ate out. I have no choice and I HATE IT! I promised her. Yet now, I feel like it's going to be my turn to suicide next. She just can't respect me, can't respect my decision, can't understand me, so selfish.
*sigh* wish I still have life to update the latest "news".
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